"So think as if your every thought were to
be etched in fire upon the sky. For so, in truth, it is. So speak as if
the entire world were but a single ear intent on hearing what you say. And so,
in truth, it is."
Mikhail Naimy*
Language is so instinctual that we often don't stop to think about it. And yet
it is so powerful that it affects our lives to the very core. In hypnosis,
this is particularly significant. Every hypnosis word we use has meaning. The
words we choose and how we say them reveal our thoughts and our intentions and
affect others profoundly. Hypnosis is a verbal art form, and it's important
for us to take a good look at our canvas.
It's well known that when we describe something to a person in hypnosis, that
description can become a deep suggestion: "Your hand is becoming very light,
floating in the air like a balloon." Other suggestions are powerful, "You feel
very peaceful." or "Your body is healing perfectly." But this kind of
well-known verbal skill is just the tip of the iceberg with hypnosis. Let's
dive even deeper. Let's take a look at authoritarian vs. permissive language;
at the use of negativities; at regional language differences; at the use of
only visual language, and more.
The "I want you to..." Conundrum
It never ceases to amaze me how many practitioners use the words, "I want you
to…" when asking their clients to take the next action. It's truly an
instinctive use of language, and yet it is very significant. It, in fact,
tells the client, "I'm not really interested in what you want, but here's what
I want you to do. And I'm your boss, so here's what I want from you." The
significance of this is that the practitioner and client have a relationship
that says, "I know what's good for you, and therefore, I have one up on you."
But there's another truth that this point of view misses; it's that our
clients have real wisdom, that they often know what is good for them, and that
they are worthy of great respect. Milton Erickson knew this deeply. He rescued
the old authoritarian hypnosis from its own language - and from itself. So
grew the popularity of such phrases as: "Just let yourself…" or "You may find
that you want to…" or "If you would, just go ahead and…" Some clients and
hypnotherapists rejoiced at this. Others paid little or no attention and kept
on with "I want you to…" language. The upshot of this is that sometimes
clients are treated with a paternalistic attitude that implies that the
hypnotherapist is a demigod. So, if that is what floats your boat, there are
then all kinds of practitioners with many variations of behavior. If you are
one who uses authoritarian language and would like to see what a new way might
be like, I'd like to suggest just becoming aware and trying on a new hat and a
new way of using language - if you like.
Negative Language and Negative States
I was taken by surprise one day when I heard a very skilled and wonderful
hypnotherapist use this suggestion: "When you feel your anxiety, just breathe
deeply." That sounds innocuous, but think about it. If we use a word like
"anxiety" in our positive suggestions, it may make a client anxious. Not only
that, it also implies that the client will keep on feeling the fearful state.
So it might have worked better if this hypnotherapist would say, "Whenever you
want to or need to, you can always breathe deeply." This doesn't bring up the
negative states, and it offers a possible action just in case the client needs
to do something for healing. And yet, I've heard many hypnotherapists who give
such suggestions as, "You don't feel so tired anymore." Or "Your tumors are
not so painful." Well, in addition to using the word "not" - there's also the
very negative words and concomitant images that are evoked.
It's a well-known fact that negative language can create negative states. My
dear friend Dianne Kathryn Short, a marvelous hypnotherapist, created a list
of commonly used phrases that can create unwanted manifestations:
>> "That eats my heart out."
>> "I need a break."
>> "That's driving me crazy."
>> "That's to die for."
>> "It makes me sick."
So when you listen to what your clients are saying, you may
find negative words or phrases that may be contributing to their current
issues. Hopefully the words you, yourself, use will contribute to the process
of healing instead.
What's Your Neck of the Woods?
In my neck of the woods, the word "hypnotism" conjures up a vision of someone
with a black cloak lined in red satin and a watch fob dangling from his
fingers as he intones in an otherworldly voice, "Look into my hypnotic eye!"
and implores his subject to go to sleep under his spell. In other geographical
areas, the word "hypnotism" is the chosen or legal phrase, while the word
"hypnotherapy" is forbidden. In my area, the word "hypnotherapy" is the chosen
phrase, the one that distinguishes between Svengali and modern-day
practitioners. This is understandably a regional difference. On World
Hypnotism Day, one practitioner went on the radio. The interviewer kept
calling it "World Hypnotherapy Day." So we can see that regional differences
are significant. There's also no absolute "right" and "wrong." There's
"appropriate" and "inappropriate." There's "legal" and "illegal" - but there's
no absolute authority that can tell us what is written in the annals of
language. We may have our preferences, as I do with my attention on the words,
"I want you to…" - but none of these expressions is "wrong." Language is a
changing part of the social fabric, and it shifts according to the times and
places in which it's spoken.
You May Not be Able to See It
It's also good to remember that not all people are visual. Many
hypnotherapists and others who do visualization assume that everyone has the
ability to see things inside their minds. But as NLP so aptly taught us, only
some people are visual. Others are auditory or kinesthetic or olfactory or
whatever other sense is their dominant mode of experiencing.
This may sound rather basic, and yet how often do you hear an induction that
starts out saying, "Just picture yourself on the beach on a beautiful day."
Not everyone can see that kind of picture. And not only that, some people
don't like the beach, so you've got two strikes against you if you go that
route. One way to circumvent all of this is to use non-visual inductions -
like counting or letters of the alphabet or progressive relaxation. Or you can
ask the client to write the induction and tell you their preferences before
you even go into trance. Or you can use visual pictures with non-visual
language: "Just imagine yourself on a beach. You may see it or feel it or just
know it's there - any way that is best for you to experience it."
The great Walter Sichort, master of the ultra-depth trance, once told me that
he never used visual inductions because they made people think too much. He
said that it was good to take people to more primitive parts of their brains,
and so he used numbers and letters and, of course, his voice. It's good to be
sensitive to different peoples' varying modes of experiencing life and to
choose appropriate language.
Language and Linguistics
I used to be an English teacher. We studied the "doctrine of usage." That
meant that language is fluid and changeable because human beings use it and
those human beings are always transforming and growing. In school, I also
studied linguistics. Linguists often go around the world with their tape
recorders asking people what kind of language they use. "Do you call it a
'bag' or a 'sack'? Do you say 'soda' or 'pop'"? We can ask hypnotherapists or
hypnotists the same things. We can ask, "Do you say, 'I want you to?' Do you
call it 'hypnotism'?" We're likely to get many varieties of answers. The best
thing is to be aware of the many ways that practitioners speak, to listen and
do our best to use language that does the greatest good for the greatest
number of people.
A great teacher named Aivanhov** said, "Where does the power of a word come
from? It doesn't come from the spoken word itself, but from the energy, the
quintessence with which it is impregnated. This quintessence is found in the
aura of all beings." So the more we are filled with energy, power and light,
so too our words are worthy of being "etched in fire" across the sky for all
to hear.
Notes:
* Mikhail Naimy, The Book of Mirdad, Penguin Books, 1962
** Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov, www.prosveta.com, 2005
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©2006 Marilyn Gordon, BCH, CI
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